You Won't Believe What These Doctors Are Recommending Parents Feed Their Children! No Autism Here!


A recent study published in a prominent medical journal is making waves in rural Ontario.  The study found that children who ingested between 2 and 4 lbs. of manure before the age of 7 had a 250% average increase in immune system response to a variety of viruses and bacterial infections in lab tests.  The implication?  Feeding your young ones even a modest amount of manure could be good for their health.

“I like to mix a little bit of it into Kent’s baby food,” said Sally Rankel.  Sally has found that it can be difficult to find good quality manure, but that some farmers are starting to understand that this is a real market.  “As difficult as it has been to source good quality local manure, I know it’s worth it when Kent looks up at me with that adorable shit-eating grin.”

“This is opening up a whole new market for us,” said local farmer Fred Dexter.  Fred runs a goat farm outside St. Thomas, and is looking at adding a staff position specially for manure collection.  “We’re also looking at ways that we can change our feeding regimen to enhance the flavour and health properties of our manure.”

“Parents who aren’t feeding manure to their kids are severely impacting the long term immune health of their offspring,” said Dr. Chim Richalds.  Dr. Richalds was the lead scientist on the research team that put together the initial study.  “We’re now beginning to investigate the effects of manure supplements on adults and the elderly.”  When asked for a comment to summarize the study Dr. Richald’s replied “Fecal microbiota transplants, or FMTs, are really advancing the type of shit we can do when it comes to CDIs.”

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